I think you raped me
I think I never gave you my consent
I think that it never occurred to me to say no
I think that it didn't matter to you
That you never thought of it,
from my point of view
So go on then, do it again
You're welcome to hurt me
To rape me, to scar me
And make every little flame of life
Slowly die, deep inside
I think you stabbed me
when I wasn't looking
when I thought I was in safe hands
And you were everything but safe
How could I convince myself
you weren't dangerous
How could I convince myself
everything was fine
when it wasn't
So go on then, do it again
You're welcome to hurt me
To rape me, to bruise me
And make every little flame of life
Slowly die, deep inside
I'd love for you to tempt me again
To grab onto me and lure me in
As I've always loved to be run over completely
I've always loved to be scarred that deeply
So go on then, do it again
You're welcome to hurt me
To rape me, to bruise me
And make every little flame of life
Slowly die, deep inside
I want you to know that I'll be secretly laughing at you
Are so you pathetic that you have to force your love on others
Were you always forced to those extremes
Treading on everyone else's will and dreams
I think you raped me
I think you betrayed me to the descent
And now I'm the one who's become decadent
I'm the one who can't even focus on daily things
You've forced yourself further, you're in my head
And because of you I can't even think
So go on then, do it again
You're welcome to hurt me
To rape me, to cut me
And make every little flame of life
Slowly die, deep inside
I'd like to think that it didn't have that big of an impact on me
But who am I trying to fool when it changed everything
It even changed the fundamental me
Even though you weren't the first
To stain my innocence
Taking it for your own
It changed how I feel about things
It changed how I see them
I'm done with turning my cheek the other way
And done with pretending you and I are friends
I guess this is the turning point
Where all the pretense ends
For the first time I can see you clearly
See the effects you had on me
You thought I had forgotten,
but I had just repressed it
And it was bound to resurface
I was bound to view you in a new light
Or should I say darkness
You really should be viewed in darkness
For darkness is what has engulfed you
And it's a different dark than mine
It's a different dark than mine
"I think you raped me"
ReplyDeleteI never got over that first line. it just blew my mind, completely. and therefore the rest of the poem just didn't seem as strong to me anymore. but don't get me wrong, I still liked it.
"As I've always loved to be run over completely
I've always loved to be scarred that deeply"
<3 loved it.
but it seems to me like there's just a little too much, like you're rambling a bit. I hate to say that though as this feels really, really personal and I don't want to hurt you by critizing you for something totally irrelevant.
You don't hurt me at all, one must be able to take some criticism. I'm aware that I was probably rambling off a bit, I wrote it under the influence of three beers and although that has the benefit of blocking my inner censor for writing sensitive stuff, it doesn't create all that well-thought out poetry.
ReplyDeleteIt was just something I needed to write. I didn't think much about it as I wrote it, it just wanted to get out.
Thanks :)
yeah it sounded like one of those fuck-I-just-have-to-get-rid-off-this-feeling- type of poems. I do those as well, haha, so can't really blame you.
ReplyDeleteI think all poets do, except not all poets might share them.
ReplyDeleteyeah probably. and it just might be better not to share them... at least not without considering it properly because haha, at least my ramblings aren't the ones I'm most proud of, even if they have some good ideas in them. but well, I just couldn't see their weaknesses back then and yep, posted them everywhere.
ReplyDelete