I can point you the right way
Help you take those first, faltering steps
Avoid the landmines, and the landslides
I'll tell you where to step next
But I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain
It's my turn to deny you
To take my hands off my own creation
I invited you to scar me, and to use me
As part of my rush, of my sensation
But I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain
I'm done with being your umbrella man
Always letting you heal, before I can
My core is open, I need to be shielded
I need to wash your blood off my hands
I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain
It would be in vain
"I'm done with being your umbrella man
ReplyDeleteAlways letting you heal, before I can"
You know, you must be one of the only ones (if not the only one) I know who can keep coming up with new, fresh ways of rhyming. I, for example, notice that I keep falling into the same convenient ways over and over again making a piece dreadfully nasty to read.
Those lines cited above caught my eye instantly. I think the rhyming is brilliant, the number of syllables matches perfectly and to top that you actually _say_ something with the words so they don't exist merely for the sake of the general sound.
But of course you already knew that. :P
Just saying that there aren't many people like you, that's to say people who can write good pieces on a regular basis. The way I see it you either get your talent from a greater power or you've got a very good muse.
Keep them up! :)
To begin with thank you for an amazing and meaningful comment, it's pure joy for me to read. =) It makes me glad that those lines caught your eye because I wasn't sure if anyone would understand what I was getting at with them xD
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you. I'm very flattered. Way I see it the words are just drifting about and all I do is catch the wordflow. I promise, there's nothing divine about it :P
Keep reading:)
Like I´ve said to Bex, she must have a really good head since she makes this all come out of there. my head is VERY poor when it comes to poems, lol. so I just steal my ideas.
ReplyDeleteAND. I can´t rhyme XD and like I´ve said I really, really adore poets who can. since I can´t.
but it´s enough about me.
"But I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride"
loved the rhymes, loved everything.
Just so you know, that your poetry lacks all tired rhymes is what makes it so awesome. It draws my attention to your pieces somehow. I adore you. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks so much!