Do you remember what it was like
When you were younger and less apathic
Before everything gradually lost color
Before things seemed so fleeting
And meaningless
Do you remember that you were stained
By age and by the same repeating days
That you slowly forgot how to breathe
Do you remember that you put up with things
And that you weren't always like this
That you'd do everything you hated
Lacking any other choice
While waiting for another life
That existed in your dreams
Do you remember how anxious you were
At the end of every dull day
You never claimed to be a genious
But nothing new would ever happen
And you grew tired of when things repeated themselves
When the tired old faces never changed
Do you remember how a few simple things made you last
Like scribbling words and listening to the saddest songs
Do you remember that opening your eyes took the greatest effort
And that once you'd opened them you wouldn't close them again
Afraid you might die while sleeping and unaware
Afraid that you'd die before loving to live
Do you remember how you fleed to pain
That the sensation made you alive again
It's true that it was temporary
But it was better than the angst
And it led your thoughts away
Did you forget what it was like
At the darkest and furthest edge of the world
Not necessarily real other than in your mind
But your thoughts was all you knew as truth
And you were tired of lying
Tired of the world's charades
Do you remember what it was like
When you had to put a mask on to the world
And did you notice that there's still flecks of it on your skin
To cover half your face and one of your eyes
Do you remember that no one seemed to understand
And that you wouldn't let anyone close enough to try
It was easier that way, or so it seemed
So it seemed to the voices in your mind
And now it's invisible for anyone who glances at you
At first sight you seem to be undamaged
Some might even say you were at ease with life
Some might even say you seem to love life
You've tried to wash the remaining flecks from your face
And you've tried to see clearly with only one eye
Imagining everyone else was blind
You might improve your current condition
And some might even say you were close to perfection
But those few flecks will always stay
And some old things will never change
You just sort them from the newer ones
With the sense of priority you recently acquired
Label them as unimportant to the present
And try to learn how to love life again
Just trying to be alive again
"Did you forget what it was like
ReplyDeleteAt the darkest and furthest edge of the world
Not necessarily real other than in your mind
But your thoughts was all you knew as truth
And you were tired of lying"
long, long piece. I understand it and on the other hand I don´t. it´s confusing piece.
I could explain it, but I prefer for you to interpret it as you wish. And make your own understanding of it.
ReplyDeleteHi! I've randomly run into your blog and read almost all of your poetry! You, girl, are writing amazing stuff! I was wondering you'd like to "cooperate" with one band, nothing big (for now), but you'll be credited 'course. If you're interested, contact me (krokodilidolazeyahoo.com), i'll send you stuffs we're doing and then we'll make some deal. or not. :) Thanx in advance! d.
ReplyDeleteHello d,
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my poems, and thanks for your shown interest. Any suggestions like these I encourage you to email me about at my contact adress which is poetinthejar@hotmail.com, and take the discussion there. ^^
Cheers.