Eliminate Self-pity

I just read this quote by Stephen Fry about the way to happiness. Fry says he wants to publish a self-help book, entitled "The way to happiness by Stephen Fry". In the beginning of the book he would write "Stop worrying and be happy." The rest of the book's pages would be empty. According to Fry, self-pity is what stands in the way of people's happiness.

I started thinking about it. Self-pity is an emotion that encapsules many other emotions. You consider yourself unlucky, the circumstances unfair, whenever life doesn't go the way you would have wanted; it's easy to blame it on other people and on the world, considering how unfortunate you truly are. It's easy to fall down the path of self-pity, feeling unwanted, underachieving, unlucky, mistreated. But what if you eliminate your self-pity? Would that automatically make you happy? Or would the lack of self-pity simply pave you the circumstances you need in order to be happy?

I pity myself more than I would like to admit. I constantly think of my own failures in life and how I could possibly correct them. I think of all the things I never have the time to do, all the things I can't afford to do, all the things that are impossible for me to do, all the things I once did and that I regret. All dreams dead. All happiness suffocated.

But when I peel all that off, I'm left with a strange sense of calm. Apparently, it took me some time to figure out what Stephen Fry phrases so perfectly in his quote. Without self-pity, without self-blame and self-loathing, the foundations of happiness seem clear. The road seems wide enough to walk. You seem to forget about what goals await at the end of the road or if you'll ever get to see them. You become aware of the air you breathe, the steps you take, the amazement inside your mind.

This is the moment I have wanted to treasure for so long, that one second of insight, awareness, and calm. What I have always meant when I've said, "live in the present!", without truly understanding it myself. When I force the negative emotions out of my thoughts, the voices clear, the fog clears, I feel aware, I feel at ease, or at as much ease as I'll ever be.

Stephen Fry, huh.
Clever guy.
Thanks for the tip.
POET IN THE ANTI-DEPRESSANT JAR