I'm just not one of those happy love stories kinds of people. I don't believe in the happy-go-lucky, the problemless, the easy. I believe one thing above all, that once it's actually right, with love, it should be easy. It should make your life somewhat less heavy to carry, somewhat less difficult to take. But that is a fairytale phenomenon, what we watch in the movies and expect ourselves to find in real life, something that happens once in a million years, something that people pretend is what they've got when in fact they never lived long enough to be able to tell, to be able to treasure.
And is it really beautiful? The stories? Every saga ever told, about the princesses and about the princes and about happily everafter... How was that ever real, how was it ever something desirable, something to strive for? I don't understand.
Call me morbid but there is something so much more enchanting with the miserable stories, with those who fall unhappily in love and are never loved back, those who find a glimpse of passion but lose it to death, those who quarrel in the dark with themselves to avoid being lonely; there's something so much more human and touching in the darkness, in the disloved, in the miserable.
I'll probably keep chasing those miserable feelings, just to feel that I'm not wasting away, that I'm not imprisoned, that I'm not stuck. Anything.
And I'd rather be lonely and miserable than stuck in a merry go round that I couldn't control that would end in happily everafter, with a princess in a tower to which the prince will hold the key... or would I?
Maybe I'm just pretending just as much as that princess is pretending? Maybe I pretend I prefer being miserable so I'll never have to pay the price of being happy, maybe the princess pretends to be happy so that she'll never have to pay the price of being miserable.
But they're one and the same. Two sides of the same coin. Aren't they? Isn't the greatest and happiest of emotions also always the one to come with the greatest of prices, the one to come with the most pain? Nothing comes for free, not in this world.
I'll keep telling my miserable stories, while at least I'm being honest. You stay on your ladder, on your way to saving your saga. To saving your lie.
Pardon the melancholy mood,
POET in the JAR
Reading this, it reminded me of a song I used to love when I was like 10 or so. I can't recall the name of it even, now, but I still remember this line: Hurt me, so I know I'm alive.
ReplyDeleteBack then it seemed so poetic and all, but as time went by it turned out that the only way to really feel alive is to hurt. The experiences which make you cry are the ones that teach you the most, I guess.
this is so true. i must admit. theres no point in pretending your happy if you truely are not. No more pretending, remember? :D and thinking this way doesnt make you morbid at all, it shows that you can say the truth. Love happens, yeah, but it doesn't solve everything. not in the slightest. Maybe people will look at me and say that TRUE love WILL solve everything. But like the princess, they are pretending still.
ReplyDeleteI will never know for sure the truth of all this,I guess no one ever will. I can only judge by my own experiences, maybe what I have is true love? maybe it's not. although I can never picture anything better than this. Are all my problems solved? hahahah wow, I wish!
But , can we really trust fairy tales anyways? I have never kissed a frog, but I'm pretty sure it would give you a disease rather than a prince! :D but, maybe love is a disease? theres a second meaning behind everything, maybe you should look at your favorite fairy tales a bit closer, you might find something to surprise you?
"there's something so much more human and touching in the darkness, in the disloved, in the miserable."
ReplyDeleteagree. I can´t write about happiness and happy love.. just don´t know why. it starts to sound so.. cliché. you know. I know that there are lots of good thing and happiness, all love can´t be miserable. but in my poems there´s no such thing. and I´m not miserable person or anything, that´s just how it is.
well this didn´t have much to do with your post.
Quite the opposite, think it had all to do with the post :D I agree, I'm not saying that there aren't any happy moments, because there are plenty of them, especially if you're not trying to hard to find them... but every day we're fed with an image of happiness that isn't real, that isn't true. It urges us to strive for something that we'll never achieve and in one way that contributes even more to keep us miserable... if you know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteChels, I think that's a good idea. I love fairytales, I love stories, I even am a story writer, but even so I always loved the stories that didn't end as the rest, those that had open endings or had dark twists... ;)
Yeah. That is one line that we have in common Sil.