Your Hour Glass

I see your hour glass
With time that's running out
Time is running out for me
With all the seconds passed
I'm still the same as I used to be
Caught in all my old routines

Pour your sand over me
I'll still be your reflection
Take your hand off your creation
I haven't changed at all
As you can see

Use your open eyes to convey me
And try to face the different light
With all that's left of your dishonesty
You've built your life on a lie

Pour your sand over me
I'll still be your reflection
Take your hand off your creation
You are the one who's been changing me

You have been blinded by the grains
While you've been busy counting time
And every wound that you've inflicted on me
Takes the same form in your mind

Pour your sand over me
I'll still be your reflection
Take your hand off your creation
I haven't changed at all
You've made me

Starting with nothing
You gave me all
From empty pockets
To a heavy heart
Starting with nothing
You made me fall
From empty eyes
I'm now sore

Compared to nothing,
Pain is more

Pour your sand over me
I'll still be your reflection
Take your hand off your creation
Look what you have made, of me
A doll of pure desperation
Stitching eyes to see

Pour your sand over me...

Low

Hitting a low, wasn't going to take my pills for today but in the end I found myself in the bathroom scrambling up some anyway. Listening to Abney Park to try and take some of the edge away. It's working alright. His voice usually soothes me.
Today I had a strange idea about writing a kid's book about UFO's. Maybe I'll do that sometime. Meanwhile I'll just have to spend tomorrow on the poem collection, my deadline for that is on Saturday. I got today off so no worries.
Sigh Robert's voice really helps.
Now maybe for an episode or so of Red Dwarf before bed so I can die away laughing.
POET in the JAR

Sugar Bowl

You're the silver spoon,
In the sugar bowl
The pale full moon,
Without a soul
Will you light my way?
Will you be dim and gray?

I'm the sugar slave,
Addicted to you
I don't want to crave,
I want to be true
Will I make my way?
Will I be freed and saved?

I'm putting you out, fire
I grew to a storm
While you were away
You're no longer a burning star
Pile of ashes, is what you are
That's how you will end,
Old friend

I will end you
And strangle you
Take you down,
And put you out

I'll do it all
Without a doubt

Without a regret

So why haven't I done it yet?

Umbrella Man

I can point you the right way
Help you take those first, faltering steps
Avoid the landmines, and the landslides
I'll tell you where to step next

But I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain

It's my turn to deny you
To take my hands off my own creation
I invited you to scar me, and to use me
As part of my rush, of my sensation

But I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain

I'm done with being your umbrella man
Always letting you heal, before I can
My core is open, I need to be shielded
I need to wash your blood off my hands

I won't be your constant guide
Won't be on your coaster ride
Buy your own golden ticket
Buy your own train
I can't stay around forever
Through your rain

It would be in vain

Anarchy

Today is the third day someone random in Anarchy Online has given me valuable items, even while I haven't asked for them. I went out with asking if anyone could give me a pistol buff, and ended up with two level 90 guns and one million (!) creds - relevant is that on my own so far, buying precisely what I needed to survive and nothing more, had managed to scrape together 33,000 creds. Imagine what a difference that made for me. Either I'm simply very friendly or I'm a very lucky bastard.

Anyway, to stop geeking around. I better head off to bed now, I got a cold and aint feeling like I oughtta, and anyway I need to get up at around 8AM if I wanna have any reasonable chance to make it to work on time. I am so, so tired of working weekends. But soon it will all be over, I'll leave this hellhole of nothing behind me and build my life someplace else, someplace where I will really be able to live...

Today Rebel asked me if I want to take over her dorm room when she moves out in August, which sounds like a nice idea. Over the summer we can share it, that's fine by me. I'm getting even more excited to leave now! Just one more month and I will know if I got accepted to the summer course. Hold your thumbs for me, and that even more importantly, I get into fall's classes.

Love you guys.
POET in the ANARCHIST JAR

Dandelion

There's the Reaper,
harvest emotion
Luring under the darkest tree
There he is, the sweeper
Pulls the ground away
From your feet

Tumble, dandelion
When you're in bloom
When your petals scatter
Towards your doom
Tumble, lion

There's your tomb site,
patch of darkness
Where no eyes can ever see
Stone set, for your slumber
As you die, away from me

Tumble, dandelion
When you're in bloom
When your petals scatter
Towards your doom
Tumble, lion

Little dandelion
You were brave
When you were dying

Flames & Sea

In the water
You're distorted
Facing your own guilty eyes
Wanting to drown
Want to go down?

Into the cold
You're distracted
Thousand needles, all of ice
Taking you down
Want to go drown?

In the sky
You see yourself
Like you never saw yourself
In the water
In the sea

You see yourself,
as a part of me

In the fire
Is where I am, these days
I've hidden from view,
Hidden from you
In this desolate place

As you trace another ocean
Another sea to die
You'll never find my fire,
Never find my lie
Maybe, for the better
Flames don't go too well with sea

But they'll always keep wanting eachother
Like I'm still craving you
And you're looking to die
Because of me

Transparent

You're that scent in the wind
That whisp of smoke that always disappears
When I reach out to touch
You're the fog that clouds the night
That clouds my eyes
And I'm transparent

You're that memory I lost
That melody, familiar, that always fades
Before I remember what it was
You're that drop of blood
Falling from my fingertips
And I'm transparent

You're that invisible power
Invisible emotion
That I can't stand living without
You're what drives me towards pain
When I can't stand life without you
When I can't stand being plain

I have a million reasons to leave this place
Besides from the obvious, in you
A million reasons to just start over
Aren't you tired of this city too?
I tell everyone how I look forward to leave
While everyone easily sees through to me
I'm transparent

You drove me away
You don't get to regret it
You don't get to follow
And I don't get to come back