Do you know how many times I thought I'd just let the car crash
Into the side of the mountain on the other side of that rail
Or how many times I stared into the sea
Wishing it would swallow me
Did you ever consider how much the sea at night
resembles the sky
Just without the stars
Just darker
Vaster
Inviting you
Do you know how tempting it is to listen to the voices
The silent ones, that seem to beckon you
Circling you like vultures that feed on desperation
Every drawn symbol on the gray surface,
disappearing on you
Do you know what it's like
Do you know that someone died that day
And how unbearable grief can be
When that someone was part of you
And had become you
And taken over you
Do you know how many times I had the thought
That it would be so much easier to end it
How many times I wanted to
How many times I tried
Do you know how much it scares me that I did
Do you know how relieved I am, that I didn't
Do you know just how much I rely on you
How delicately I have faith in you
How fragile you are
How I love you
How I love you
Delicately
"Do you know how many times I had the thought
ReplyDeleteThat it would be so much easier to end it
How many times I wanted to
How many times I tried
Do you know how much it scares me that I did
Do you know how relieved I am, that I didn't"
it started so sadly that I was sure it was going to end badly as well but no, you surprised me! haha ^^ I actually liked the hopeful ending.
I had a feeling it was going to end well, I was pretty sure what I wanted to say with it. Though I wasn't sure if anyone would realize it was a hopeful poem. ^^
ReplyDeletewell I think it nearly screams "hopeful" compared to most of your poems... xD
ReplyDeleteHahaha, yeah. You do have a point x)
ReplyDelete