Jewels

I've felt strangely wary for a few days, since around Wednesday, a wariness that won't seem to let go of me. I'm aching to create, to write, to paint, to do anything, and still it's like I can't settle down and focus on it, as if my mind is somewhere else. I think I can easily pinpoint my writer's block - a combination of lack of time, and lack of ideas. Also, I have this big idea that everything I write have to come out awesome right away, or it's crap writing, an idea I have to work with getting rid of. It hasn't helped any of my novels to think in these ways and I'm aware of that. So how come it's so hard to get rid of the thoughts now?


To get back in prose I tried a few different things. One was opening my oldest novel for editing, which it needs anyway, but after spending some hours on it I suddenly felt it wasn't worth my time. I then started to look again at Ophelia, which I feel is the best novel I've written, and stumbled upon the draft of its sequel in the folder. It was pretty good. Even though I always felt Ophelia doesn't need a sequel, and never was meant to have one, it might work well to get me back into writing. Ella waits patiently. She is my little jewel. She'll wait until I'm ready for her.


As long as I'm not writing prose, I might as well be writing something. I got a poem written down earlier that's been in my head for a few days and that's at least something.


I'll be off now to check what food I can manage to find in my kitchen and also to possibly check back in on Jake and Madden.
POET IN THE JAR