Crucifix

You tell me to be strong but I defend my right to cry
Why should I go through this short life in pretense
Without giving in to my immediate reactions
Do you really know what's behind the tears
Have you tried to live life with my eyes
Have you ever tried to be me
Or see me

I can't control my stormy emotions
I never could steer them my way
They're part of my muse and what makes me
Part of my inspiration, my desperation
And depression
I won't be altered
Just so I can say I was strong
Just so I can say I died inside

I think you're as prone to weakness as me
You are just too stubborn to ever admit defeat
And to keep away the depths of the dark
You shield yourself with a layer of laughter
Reduce everything to silliness and games
I know, because I used to be like you
I used to act the same way

My crucifix was episodes of comedy
Or songs that ridiculed life and the world
It was to keep the biters away, the fangs
And I kept the flickering screen on through the night
As if it was the defense that would do the trick
Against the old demons
In case they returned

I can't control my stormy emotions

I never could steer them my way

They're part of my muse and what makes me

Part of my inspiration, my desperation

And depression

I won't be altered

Just so I can say I was strong

Just so I can say I died inside

I guess in the end neither of our methods work
And neither of us is near perfection
Everyone has their own way to deal with their situations
And it's not in my interest to make you any different
Just don't change me either in the end
And I'll defend my right to cry
Even when you're right
And I won't question you
If you don't question me

I can't control my stormy devotion
I never could steer it that way
It's part of my muse and what makes me
Part of my inspiration, my desperation
And isolation