And there's just another valley on the other side
Maybe there's another hill beyond that valley
Maybe I miscalculated everything
Maybe I misread the signs
Could you tell me
Could you tell me I'm going the right way
Maybe I'm just following the same fragmented instructions
That kept leading me to other valleys
Some valleys deep enough to cut through the crust of the earth
Some valleys darker than anything you could imagine
Some valleys making me blind,
stumbling with every step
Wherever did the wild flowers grow
Whenever was their scent carried to me by the wind
I fear that I'm climbing just another hill
And when I reach the top a part of me will die
When just thinking of pushing on
This unforgiving landscape, I've always pushed through
But I can't do it this time without you
I can't do it if you turn into a valley
Will your walls be steep
Will your stone be cold
Will I be able to recover
Or will I only age inside
That's left to uncover
Don't turn into a valley, please
I'm already losing my way
Among these hills
"I fear that I'm climbing just another hill
ReplyDeleteAnd when I reach the top a part of me will die
When just thinking of pushing on
This unforgiving landscape, I've always pushed through
But I can't do it this time without you"
I know exactly what you mean by this. but even when those little pieces die, something survives for another hill and for another try. it's horrible but what can you do but keep going? at least I haven't seen any other way to go.
stay strong.
I just wish I could be more enthusiastic about climbing... I can keep going, but when do you stop walking as a person, and become a walking, emotionless machine?
ReplyDeleteoh, at least I can do it without much enthusiasm, even without real want to do it. it has indeed become a habit... but will it make you more human if you stop climbing and give in? I don't think it works that way either. but finding the reason why you keep climbing hill after hill is necessary to remain a human being. I think I have a reason, even if it's something along the lines "stopping to think might just destroy me". I don't know, darling. but don't give in because there's got to be something else there behind all these hills, something better.
ReplyDeleteI know there are things to be happy about, and usually at the top of the hill you'll find something worth your while; it's just that those moments on the hills seem very short before inevitably, you're going downhill again. I have more things to be happy about right this moment than I've had in years. I'm just battling some inner demons right now.
ReplyDeleteI think... that the only reason I can think of is "I'm not done yet". I still have so much to see, so many things I want to share, so many things I want to do. I just have to try and find a balance between these things, and the part of me that keeps insisting everything is depressing.