Daydreams

This choice is hard for anyone to make
To tell authentic from what's fake
I slant my head to catch the voices
Voices that wake me
From my daydreams

Wish that I could sleep some more
Not wonder what I came here for
Close my eyes to chase my dreams
Dreams that take me
From reality
___________________________________

Why, that plan worked out trumendously, now didn't it? Argh, it's like I've got it all worked out in my head, got the path set out straight for me, and when it's time to follow it - go down the path I'm supposed to go - I grow so weary I'll surrender... I wonder when it's time for me... When it's my turn to rise and shine. When I'll actually be able to deal with this... my life... and the inevitable end of it as I know it...
I know what's best for me and I know what the voices tell me. Don't get it, why this feels so hard... so wrong. Can I really allow myself to be happy about it? It goes against everything. Most things... That I've worked for. That... that I am.
I don't know, I might be hell wrong here, but I'm pretty confused about things still. And I want me to gimme some answers now, this very minute. Not just wait it out. I'm sick of not knowing what I want to do, or who I want to be - or, more precisely, I'm sick of it being so important to me to know that. I wish I could just have fun with life and enjoy it as it is... No prejudices allowed.