One half of me believes:
Things might change.
You'll stay within range.
The other half leaves:
Wants to save me.
Not betray me.
But I don't know
what to say.
Which way to go.
Who to trust,
out of two
reasonable
halves.
______________________________
I feel as though I'm split in half. Yesterday didn't end too well, with me sitting on the stone stairs crying. Trying to tell Nikki that I need time. I need to be by myself for a while. He thinks it'll be better when we move apart, but I'm not sure. Maybe what I really need is a clean break, so that maybe somehow I can build a strong self again. I'm only halfway there as it is, and I think living like this is preventing me from going all the way. I miss being on my own, I used to have fun with things. And when I am alone, nowadays, I'm so happy with it, it feels good not having to take responsibility for someone else, just for a while. But I don't want that for a while, I want to have that all the time. I just don't know how to say it. I just don't know where to start. Hand it over after dinner? Or after the laundry has been done? And it's so silly that I keep prolonging it, if I don't do it today, I won't have done it in two months.
Please help me.
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For Dust And Memories