What's the use? Seriously? Of believing, of making yourself think what you thought could never be... just might. You're doing nothing but fooling yourself, betraying yourself with hope, and naivete. There are no such things these days, no room for either of them. I'm so tired of building hope, of building naivete, of building a world where there's no one in it but me...
I know it's not the case but I feel like the loneliest person in the world who's just had a most crazed out night and not in a good way even though most parts of it were good.
Why am I always the last to know?
Why don't you tell me anything?
Just leave me there behind the scenes of the show,
Seeing it all, but believing in none of it.
because its that hope and naivete that keeps us alive long enough to see the best parts of our life, that blind belief in what will never come that allows us to gain smaller, better things.
ReplyDeleteI see nothing good. I see nothing of value. If I sank down through earth this moment and disappeared no one would notice. Except for my kids at school maybe, who would complain that I had abandoned them. I feel lonelier than ever and fucking selfish for doing so cause I know it aint true. I just can't make myself believe it. Somehow. Strangely.
ReplyDeleteAnd so I don't see the good.