Temporary Antidote

You can't kill tears with laughter
It's just a temporary antidote
And shallowly, it cures you
But it leaves a hollow inside
Filled with emptiness
A home for your sorrow
A safe place
Where time cannot repel it

Doesn't it feel safer to keep it
You know that it's there
Even though you pretend it's gone
Who was the exorcist of your grief
Someone who agreed to take the blame
Agreed to maintain your shield
But it weighs heavily on your heart
To carry

Is it too late to dream
When all the voices that whispered to you
Were banned from your mind years ago
All those whispers that were passionate
That told you about wonders of the world
Beckoning you to follow
Is it too late to awaken them

The walls you've sealed yourself in with are too high
Habit and denial keep you from tearing them down
There'll be no catapults to attack you here
All they need to do is wait
While you corrode
While you rust away

The damage is done and you're the maker of your own disaster
You were too blind and young to make the right decisions
It could have been undone if you had opened your eyes
But you drove yourself towards destruction
And now you have to pay the price
Pay the price for pride and self-deceit

You can't kill tears with laughter
And you can't afford to be selfish again
Selfishness was what got you here
It's too late to listen to those voices
And it is too late to aim for dreams
They'll always remain improbable, and silly
But in secret you cling to your dreams
And visualize a better existence
When you cry, at the end of the day
And no one sees you
You can lay off the antidote, if only for a while
And let the poisonous childish wishes rule
Aware that they will never come true

And you tell yourself, tears are better
Than emptiness