I feel totally hopeless, totally melancholy, soberness taking over my body. I should be sleeping already, getting rested for working tomorrow, but I can't seem to bring myself around to it... can't seem to bring myself around to much of anything. I'm so tired of being me, of being here, I just want to get out of here, and every day I see that little glimmer of hope for things to ever get better just fade away... it flickers and goes out.
I used to be able to pull it off. Holding on to small strings of light. Seeing the small in the worldly. Like the Great Poet once said, it's the little things that make the world... but I'm here now, and I feel smaller than ever, and I'm not part of this world. I'm not building it up or making it stronger. I'm just being, and barely that; drifting around waiting for everything to work out and to solve itself... waiting for something to happen.
As if it would just throw itself at me.
Like I told Al just a few minutes ago... I'm gone bust, and I'm faced with a nothingness I never saw before... I hate money. HATE it! Hate it, hate it, HATE IT!
I'm close to tears all the time, and the only thing that brightens me day is ungraspable, because bex gets in the way of speaking her mind, all the time... help me out here!
POET iN THE JAR
As I once told you, My only true happiness in life is to see your real smile.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will be there for you if you ever need me.
But until that day, My thoughts are with you!
Keep figting lilltroll!! I know you will make it,,,
Thank you... <3 I will keep fighting! I can't give up now... thank you so much :)
ReplyDeletedon´t give up! there´s just too much losers, sometimes we need survivors. and it´s only logical that someone has to make it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rocco... I really will fight... I have to or I'll just fade away here, I'm not ready to fade away, I might not be a survivor but I'm no suicidal either... So I'll try. I'll keep trying until all my courage is gone... and vent everything here while I do...
ReplyDelete