What were you doing in my drunken conversation
Stirring me to tears that seemed completely irrelevant
To everyone else
I thought I told you I had shunned you out
And that you weren't welcome, inside my head
I thought I told you it would pass with time
And you wouldn't make these appearances
In my mind
What were you doing, interrupting my life
The one I always said I dreamed of
Maybe in my dreams it wasn't this decadent
But what is the difference
Except that you were a part of this dream once
And now you're only part of nightmares
And you made me lose faith in everything
And you made me suspicious towards everyone
And I can let them close but I can't let them catch me
What were you doing, with the drunken me
In my drunken conversation
I never asked for you to come.
"And I can let them close but I can't let them catch me"
ReplyDeleteI love that line. Hanna nearly made me cry during one in-depth conversation when I told her that it´s sometimes hard for me to be here. "You should talk more about things like that. No one can comfort you if we don´t know what´s going on."
Very irrelevant but this poem reminded me of it. yeah. I´m sorry for you. isn´t it good that I´m not everyone, so you don´t have to be suspicious towards me? ^^
Yes, it is good, but I don't count you in among those 'everyone'. I'm lucky enough to have very good friends out of which you're one of them, and I'm not suspicious towards them in any way. It's basically a way of saying that I can let them close - as in letting people close for, for example sex - but I can't let them close-close, as in actually committing... because it's just too hard and I'm just too hurt, even if it really was a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's that irrelevant. What more happened with Hanna? If she said something like that she pretty fucking obviously cares about you :o
yeah I know :/ time should heal the wounds but... it doesn´t sound believable.
ReplyDeleteOh what more.. the story is long. She´s been texting me like crazy, asking how I´m doing and what I´m doing. and last night when we (me and couple of my friends) were drinking (yeah I drank like nothing so I wasn´t even close to getting drunk)she texted me non-stop. "take care of yourself, I don´t want you to get hurt. if anything happens to you I´ll kill everyone who didn´t stop it from happening. Don´t do anything stupid. Don´t do anything to yourself." etc etc. all night. she never said directly that she cares for me but kept repeating how worried she was. I´m a little lost.
Very good piece, shorter than your usual stuff but sweet and filled with true emotion.
ReplyDeleteBtw your guys's conversation reminded me of a book called Exit Here. Good book.
Haha, that's fun. I have no idea what that book is ^^ And thanks yes, it had some emotion to it, most definitely.
ReplyDelete