Sweet temptation
Lined by silver
Sweet desire
Wrapped in gold
Sweet delicious
So I'm told
Give up all restrictions
I don't want to be forbidden
I don't want the shadows
Of your call
Give it in
Give up all
Oh fascination,
Cloudy sky
Desperation,
Lullaby
Liberation,
Gone awry
Give up all restrictions
I don't want to be forbidden
I don't want the shadows
Of your call
Give it in
Give up all
Sweet temptation
Is my pride
Sweet desire
I will hide
Sweet delicious
To let go
To let you know
I told you so
Saturday, February 27
Polaroid
Her hazel eyes
Her fiery red lips
Her brown curls
Falling gently,
Around her face
Framing her
The way my photograph was framed
By the white edges of the polaroid
___________________________
Just an extract from my novel in progress, here in poetry form.
POET IN THE JAR
Her fiery red lips
Her brown curls
Falling gently,
Around her face
Framing her
The way my photograph was framed
By the white edges of the polaroid
___________________________
Just an extract from my novel in progress, here in poetry form.
POET IN THE JAR
Wednesday, February 24
I'll Type On My Deathbed
Yesterday it worked, today it won't. One hour of drawing and I haven't forgotten what time it is, I haven't come up with anything whatsoever useful. I tried to draw Satine in Moulin Rouge and came up with some square-looking shemale with fake lips and fake hair. It's one hour of wasted work for nothing, and I can't use this piece of shit for anything.
Changing the topic.
Today the therapist called and asked me why I have kept cancelling my hours lately. I told her the truth, that I've just haven't had the energy to come on in and have those one hour sessions. She sounded concerned and my bad conscious gave me a sting. I don't even really know the lady, but she's always very kind and something about her warm ways just always pulls my sadness trigger. I can sit in her little office and not be able to stop crying and not even know why. Sometimes even the way she'll pat my back and send me on my way can make it worse. Why? It's not like I haven't met nice people before. Yeah, I don't know.
I should be relieved that the Queen is back again, but I can't make myself feel it. It's odd. Whatever I learned from her it is to never trust what people say, even if they swear it on their lives that it's true, because in the end all sworn truth is a lie. And although sometimes my heart will ache for her, my heart will break with hers, there is a bitter flavor to the whole endeavour that I can't explain. It's... complicated. I want to blame myself for feeling the bitterness, for being selfish in this whole situation but it's impossible to rid myself of the feeling. It still tastes like salt. It doesn't taste sweet, not at all.
What am I so afraid of, really? Apart from my obvious fear of dying. Seems every step someone else takes towards growing up I feel like I want to shrink away and disappear into the safe arms of youth. When I hadn't yet learned about life, about death, about it all. While people around me hook up, break up, move in, move out, get engaged, marry, have children, buy fucking apartments in different cities; all I want to do is crawl away, close the door, type. Type. TYPE!
I swear, I'll be fucking typing while I'm on my deathbed and you will be the ones fetching me paper and ink. For once it'll be the roles reversed. And you will be there for me.
You will do all the hard things for me.
POET IN THE JAR
Changing the topic.
Today the therapist called and asked me why I have kept cancelling my hours lately. I told her the truth, that I've just haven't had the energy to come on in and have those one hour sessions. She sounded concerned and my bad conscious gave me a sting. I don't even really know the lady, but she's always very kind and something about her warm ways just always pulls my sadness trigger. I can sit in her little office and not be able to stop crying and not even know why. Sometimes even the way she'll pat my back and send me on my way can make it worse. Why? It's not like I haven't met nice people before. Yeah, I don't know.
I should be relieved that the Queen is back again, but I can't make myself feel it. It's odd. Whatever I learned from her it is to never trust what people say, even if they swear it on their lives that it's true, because in the end all sworn truth is a lie. And although sometimes my heart will ache for her, my heart will break with hers, there is a bitter flavor to the whole endeavour that I can't explain. It's... complicated. I want to blame myself for feeling the bitterness, for being selfish in this whole situation but it's impossible to rid myself of the feeling. It still tastes like salt. It doesn't taste sweet, not at all.
What am I so afraid of, really? Apart from my obvious fear of dying. Seems every step someone else takes towards growing up I feel like I want to shrink away and disappear into the safe arms of youth. When I hadn't yet learned about life, about death, about it all. While people around me hook up, break up, move in, move out, get engaged, marry, have children, buy fucking apartments in different cities; all I want to do is crawl away, close the door, type. Type. TYPE!
I swear, I'll be fucking typing while I'm on my deathbed and you will be the ones fetching me paper and ink. For once it'll be the roles reversed. And you will be there for me.
You will do all the hard things for me.
POET IN THE JAR
Wednesday, February 17
Drop Of Blood
There is glitter in your blood
Slowly trickles down
And freezes
Like a snowflake
Is your drop of blood
There is life in your blood
Life of heart
Until it dies
It's so intense
Your drop of blood
I will cut you open
To see your blood shine
Only the few drops I need
To make that glitter mine
Like a snowflake
A dying flower
In your wake
Is your drop of blood
You can have my blood
And my stained knife
You can have my breath
My entire life
For you're in my blood, darling
And that's what makes it glitter
Slowly trickles down
And freezes
Like a snowflake
Is your drop of blood
There is life in your blood
Life of heart
Until it dies
It's so intense
Your drop of blood
I will cut you open
To see your blood shine
Only the few drops I need
To make that glitter mine
Like a snowflake
A dying flower
In your wake
Is your drop of blood
You can have my blood
And my stained knife
You can have my breath
My entire life
For you're in my blood, darling
And that's what makes it glitter
Tuesday, February 16
7.40 (Sometimes)
I'm sleeping again
Dozing off into slumber
And I dream, again
Many restless dreams
7.40
You wake me up
You're holding me too hard
Shaking me
It hurts
It stings
I'm smiling, sometimes
When I manage to forget
But some things we were
Just aren't forgotten yet
7.40
You wake me up
You're holding me too hard
Strangling me
It hurts
It stings
So what if I can sleep again?
When you wake me up 7.40 AM
And I can't get myself to move
I can't get myself to breathe
7.40
You wake me up
You're not holding me
Not shielding me
And it hurts
It stings
Dozing off into slumber
And I dream, again
Many restless dreams
7.40
You wake me up
You're holding me too hard
Shaking me
It hurts
It stings
I'm smiling, sometimes
When I manage to forget
But some things we were
Just aren't forgotten yet
7.40
You wake me up
You're holding me too hard
Strangling me
It hurts
It stings
So what if I can sleep again?
When you wake me up 7.40 AM
And I can't get myself to move
I can't get myself to breathe
7.40
You wake me up
You're not holding me
Not shielding me
And it hurts
It stings
Sunday, February 14
Field Of Dreams
There's a pattern
I should follow
A flight of stairs
I should take
Climb on upwards,
To the wake
There's a light
I should run to
Drawn to it
Like fireflies
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's a dream
I should let go of
Returning to
Reality
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's a field
Of imaginary scenes
A land of wonders
And silly dreams
Walk on forwards,
To the wake
There's a dreamer
Who's only real
Remembers it all
Her pain, her scars
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's an end
To her dreaming
It will set her free
But the end of dreaming
Is the end of me
Dream on forwards
It's not too late
Fall asleep
Inside your dreams
Don't ever wake
I should follow
A flight of stairs
I should take
Climb on upwards,
To the wake
There's a light
I should run to
Drawn to it
Like fireflies
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's a dream
I should let go of
Returning to
Reality
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's a field
Of imaginary scenes
A land of wonders
And silly dreams
Walk on forwards,
To the wake
There's a dreamer
Who's only real
Remembers it all
Her pain, her scars
Stagger forwards,
To the wake
There's an end
To her dreaming
It will set her free
But the end of dreaming
Is the end of me
Dream on forwards
It's not too late
Fall asleep
Inside your dreams
Don't ever wake
Sunday, February 7
Indifferent Heart
There's an empty spot,
In your parking lot
Either you're out,
Or you've gone away
I'll never know
If you left or stayed
There's a dark window,
where the lights were on
Either you're asleep
Or you're not there
I'll never know
Why I keep my stare
I let you be a memory
A reminder of what I used to be
By now you've gotten hold of me
You're taking me over,
Entirely
There's an empty part,
Of my indifferent heart
Either it's dying,
Or it's wide awake
I'll never know
Until it breaks
I let you be a memory
A reminder of what I used to be
But now you've gotten hold of me
You're taking me over,
Entirely
I'm shutting out the images
Killing you with silence
But nothing ever really killed you
Or my one way romance
Every time I voice it
Every time I hear it
You're taking me over
Entirely
In your parking lot
Either you're out,
Or you've gone away
I'll never know
If you left or stayed
There's a dark window,
where the lights were on
Either you're asleep
Or you're not there
I'll never know
Why I keep my stare
I let you be a memory
A reminder of what I used to be
By now you've gotten hold of me
You're taking me over,
Entirely
There's an empty part,
Of my indifferent heart
Either it's dying,
Or it's wide awake
I'll never know
Until it breaks
I let you be a memory
A reminder of what I used to be
But now you've gotten hold of me
You're taking me over,
Entirely
I'm shutting out the images
Killing you with silence
But nothing ever really killed you
Or my one way romance
Every time I voice it
Every time I hear it
You're taking me over
Entirely
Friday, February 5
Definitions
You name your enemy
Like there was no tomorrow
Label them with ease
Judge them, as you please
But you own their sorrow
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
You are your enemy
You are what you borrow
Deceitful hands
Is what you see
But you're the scarecrow
You're the vulture
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
Let go of your cramping grasp
There's only smoke between your fingers
You can't catch your own presumptions
As you are caught by the others
Pulling the same tricks
Poking the same sticks
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
See you in the web of disaster
The net you strew around you
While insight flew around you
And over your head
You toppled over,
Numb and dead
Life and death
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
You'll still be my love
Forever
For all time
Like there was no tomorrow
Label them with ease
Judge them, as you please
But you own their sorrow
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
You are your enemy
You are what you borrow
Deceitful hands
Is what you see
But you're the scarecrow
You're the vulture
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
Let go of your cramping grasp
There's only smoke between your fingers
You can't catch your own presumptions
As you are caught by the others
Pulling the same tricks
Poking the same sticks
Life and love
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
See you in the web of disaster
The net you strew around you
While insight flew around you
And over your head
You toppled over,
Numb and dead
Life and death
Has no reason or rhyme
Why define?
Why define?
You'll still be my love
Forever
For all time
Wednesday, February 3
Shard Of A Child
Your story is woven, before my eyes
It tells of truth and dismal lies
Shown in images and stills
It tells of revivals, and of kills
Flown here by the raven
Clinging still, to hope
Your thinnest rope
Your haven
This is your life
Intertwined, with mine
For better or worse,
We'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
Your story falters, along with mine
Breaking to pieces, it falls behind
Shows in the blood drops
When your heart stops
Flown here by the raven
Clinging still, to hope
Your thinnest rope
This is your life
Intertwined, with mine
For better or worse,
We'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
We're deserters, and deserted
The only ones who tried to feel
For this we were banned
For being real
This is your life
You're different now
For better or worse,
You'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
In the surreal of the wild
It tells of truth and dismal lies
Shown in images and stills
It tells of revivals, and of kills
Flown here by the raven
Clinging still, to hope
Your thinnest rope
Your haven
This is your life
Intertwined, with mine
For better or worse,
We'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
Your story falters, along with mine
Breaking to pieces, it falls behind
Shows in the blood drops
When your heart stops
Flown here by the raven
Clinging still, to hope
Your thinnest rope
This is your life
Intertwined, with mine
For better or worse,
We'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
We're deserters, and deserted
The only ones who tried to feel
For this we were banned
For being real
This is your life
You're different now
For better or worse,
You'll learn with time
This is your world now,
Shard of a child
In the surreal of the wild
Monday, February 1
Bye Bye, Beautiful
I will find her
Walking through the waterfalls
The emerald fields
Gliding through the air,
Searching the ground
As if I had wings
I will find her
She'll wait for me
Sending out signals that I'll hear
Signal is stronger, when I'm near
She'll be there
She'll be whole
And waiting
I will find her
She'll have a fabric flower in her hair
It'll have the shape of a broken heart
It will be hers, worn on the outside
Inside she'll have a hollow void
And the key to her empty chest
She'll have thrown away
Into the waterfall
I will find it
Walking through the waterfalls
Breaking the surface
I will open every shell
And spontaneously combust
I'll burn, for her
The waterfall will burn
I'll be without a key
I will learn that without it
She can never be with me
I found her
Congratulations, and smile
I got to see her
A little while
Bye bye, beautiful
In another world
Another time
I will find her
And she'll be mine
Walking through the waterfalls
The emerald fields
Gliding through the air,
Searching the ground
As if I had wings
I will find her
She'll wait for me
Sending out signals that I'll hear
Signal is stronger, when I'm near
She'll be there
She'll be whole
And waiting
I will find her
She'll have a fabric flower in her hair
It'll have the shape of a broken heart
It will be hers, worn on the outside
Inside she'll have a hollow void
And the key to her empty chest
She'll have thrown away
Into the waterfall
I will find it
Walking through the waterfalls
Breaking the surface
I will open every shell
And spontaneously combust
I'll burn, for her
The waterfall will burn
I'll be without a key
I will learn that without it
She can never be with me
I found her
Congratulations, and smile
I got to see her
A little while
Bye bye, beautiful
In another world
Another time
I will find her
And she'll be mine
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)