I'm chasing a monster, a legendary beast
The solid form of fear and failure
Like a shadow, like a wisp of smoke
It teleports, it manifests
Deep in the dark roots
Of my thoughts
You're chasing another monster
The one who passes for success and ambition
The one who passes your time
And keeps you occupied
It's easier, easier than our common enemy
Easier than chasing the inevitability of time
While you have the tools to fight your battles through,
I'm still wondering how to kill my monster, too
Because I'm not trained in your ways
I've only just identified my beast
I wasn't taught how to turn my weaknesses into strengths
The way you were
Somehow I'd like to think I've got the advantage over you
I've seen my monster many times
I've encountered it my entire life
And I don't delude myself I can defeat him
We share some kind of symbiosis, him and I
He taunts me and mocks me,
Relentlessly disregards me,
But he lets me ride on his highs,
And at rare occasions rewards me,
Encourages me
I don't think you've ever seen your monster
You're tracking him down blindly,
Driven by reasons you don't understand
I can see it so clearly,
I can see it in your eyes,
I see everything there is to see,
That's how I was trained,
That's how I am,
That's me
I could list a million ways we were different from eachother
Everyone chases monsters,
That doesn't make either of us unique
But your target, and mine,
were once brothers in arms
And that doesn't make us unique
But it makes us united
Maybe if I taught you how to see
How to live with a monkey on your back
You could teach me your ways too
We don't have to chase monsters alone
We can go together through the darkness
We can bargain with beasts
And learn how to use magic
Until we've reached a state of ease and order
I'm chasing a monster, different from yours,
And you're chasing a monster, different from mine,
But you and I, we're not really that different from eachother
You and I are both bounty hunters
In a world of unseeing eyes
And unsympathetic hearts
If we're ever going to claim our rewards
Joining forces is where we should start
Our diversity will strengthen us, if we let it
And give us peace, if we let it
Together, we can adapt to the harshness
And laugh at life again
Laughing with the monkeys still clinging to our backs
We'll respect them, and make use of them
We'll adapt to them
We'll take the money
We'll take the magic
We'll take the laughter
And we'll let our monsters live
_________________________________
I found this poem unpublished and unfinished among my drafts. It seems like it needs more work, less repetition, more polish... but something about it still speaks to me in some primitive way, and I doubt I'll ever do more work on it, so here goes. Whoever interprets this the way it was intended wins a mystery prize of my own devising.
POET IN THE CONFUSED AND BROKEN JAR
