Tell me - is this what you fought to uphold
While every memory told you not to
While every fiber told you to let go
Is this the truth you fought for
The truth you sought for
When did you involve me in your social experiment
Convinced that you could overturn your own experience
Pull the right strings, make all your puppets dance!
The invisible music in your mind that's built of algorithms
Will suit their every step and put them all in trance!
Isn't that a quite modified truth,
the one you pull out of reluctant puppets
Isn't it a quite molded reality,
the one that's reflected in their eyes
There was a time I let myself be swayed by you
I let myself fall into that hypnosis I despise
And a time I told myself I needed you
But I got tangled in my own feeble lie
I made a mistake, trusting the wrong solution
I made a mistake by trusting you
Who can claim ownership of what's true
Claim to own the underlying meaning
Behind every word, every thought, every reaction
Who can claim they know how you feel
Claim to have seen what you are seeing
Painting your new, improved way of thinking
Across your face and across your heart
Across your soul
In place of your own
There's only paint
There's only pain
I've created a refuge, my own little settlement,
Where I will stand for my every sentiment,
Where I will forge my own non-religious beliefs,
And distance myself from everything that drains me,
Where I will dress in words my every thought,
Until you're convinced it's the truth I've caught
The truth you sought
"Who can claim ownership of what's true
ReplyDeleteClaim to own the underlying meaning
Behind every word, every thought, every reaction
Who can claim they know how you feel
Claim to have seen what you are seeing
Painting your new, improved way of thinking
Across your face and across your heart"
"I've created a refuge, my own little settlement,
Where I will stand for my every sentiment,
Where I will forge my own non-religious beliefs,
And distance myself from everything that drains me,
Where I will dress in words my every thought,
Until you're convinced it's the truth I've caught"
listening to a melodramatic ballad might have affected my reading experience, haha~
but oh yes, I agree with you. and surprisingly, or perhaps it isn't surprising at all, this poem seems to speak of great strength within this "I" of the poem. I like it. a lot.
I think I'm trying to sort of defend the person I'm becoming and that I want to be. This poem speaks to people who have tried to tell me what's true, what to think, what to say, what to do. It's time I found my own truth, and began becoming someone new. That's all the poem is about in its essence. I'm glad you thought this "I" sounds strong. I hope so, too.
ReplyDeleteit's a really good thing that you're standing up for yourself. if you're not going to do it, no one else will either. I'm so proud of you ^^ hold on to that truth even when it seems to be fading away! but sigh, out of all people I should know with my messed up head how hard it is... but it doesn't have to mean that you'll fail! I don't mean to sound pessimistic ^^
DeleteNo worries. I've found myself sounding cynical a lot lately so I can't complain about a pessimist. ;)
DeleteI hope I'll be able to, but the truth is always shifting. I feel like I'm trying to catch invisible butterflies with a bag net made of illusions.