You Hate Me Until I Hate Me More - Is That Your Idea Of Karma?

I'm getting really tired of the online negativity surrounding ADHD. I've been to a wide variety of Swedish blogs on the topic lately. It's the second stage of trying to understand the condition I suspect I have. First I just read research and general overview information, and now I've moved on to reading people's personal experiences and debates. The general feeling I've gotten out of it so far is that there is this widespread notion of ADHD persons not really being "sick". There isn't a single blog I've been to that hasn't encountered this notion during their history of either being diagnosed or being close to someone with a diagnose.  And that tells me many things.

I'm not an expert. The more I learn about this illness, the more questions I want to ask. Still, a single search on Wikipedia or Google and a quick five minutes of reading gave me a general overview of it, enough to make me realize many myths about ADHD are unmotivated. If I could learn that in five minutes I don't understand why anyone else couldn't bother to check their facts before wasting everyone's time on uncalled-for hate comments (and by anyone, I mean those who keep the myths alive, online and irl). It would literally take me longer and use more of my energy to write a comment of their hateful calibre than it took me to initially research the topic to begin with. I don't really get what anyone who doesn't have ADHD gains from pretending they know what ADHD is - and how to deal with it. I'm up to my ears in these stereotypical comments to the extent that I feel I need to take a breather so as not to start tracking down IP adresses and barging in to people's houses. I'll be armed with some compassion to try and hammer into their heads.

However, as real life goes, I'm gonna blog about my frustration instead.

Here's the main fact I want to underline: if you don't have ADHD, you don't know what it's like to be us. You're not our doctors and you're not gods. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST. We know that we're terrible at things. We can have a hard time sitting still, distract you, talk way too much or jump between topics. We can miss appointments, misplace objects, or lash out at you over a petty detail. Is this why you hate us? Are we all that one annoying kid in class to you? How do you think it feels to BE that annoying kid? To do and say and forget things even when you really try to focus; and then spend hours every night beating ourselves up about it because we feel out of place, we feel dumb and failed and, yes, hated. Even when we're only surrounded by people who love us!

Let's sort some things out and illustrate:

1. ADHD isn't one single diagnosis. It's an umbrella term for three different types of disorders falling under attention and concentration problems. Two people with different types of ADHD can be as different as night and day. One could be that annoying kid in class never sitting down, always running around. Another could be restless inwardly, racing thoughts with resulting migraines. Hating on ADHD because you've encountered one type of it is like hating on worms because a snake once bit you.

2. ADHD is believed to be caused by a chemical disturbance in the brain. The substances and bloodflow in the brain are abnormal, which causes forced behavior. Blaming ADHD on bad parenting during childhood is like saying a worm could have been a bird, if only its worm mom and dad had taught it how to fly.

3. ADHD is not all bad, and isn't only about restlessness or forgetfulness or disorganization. High intelligence, ability to multitask, curiosity and creativity are all positive traits associated with ADHD. Just because someone can't fit into the 'norm' of paying attention over time, listening patiently or just not fiddle with things, they are dumb? Viewing all ADHD as stupidity is like Einstein said, judge a fish's ability to swim by how well it climbs an oak (something like that).

I could go on, but I'm growing weary. My main point was just this. There is general hatred and distrust in ADHD afflicted persons in society today. It is often questioned as a legitimate condition despite originating from a chemical brain malfunction. It frustrates us because we know we are capable people, high achieving, we just need to feel accepted and encouraged. With this common notion against us, we can never feel accepted and encouraged. The more we fail, the more of the "bad" sides of ADHD will come out, and we'll feel bad for THAT, and feel like failures again; and it's repeated again and escalates, and no one who ever "has to" deal with us benefits from that. Not you, either. By badmouthing us and hating on us you are only fuelling us to hate ourselves. (Is that what your goal is? Because that's psychopathic).

That was a rant, and not even in my native tongue as I'd planned; but I'm a little scared to show my face publicly anywhere near those comments on the Swedish blogs. Anyone know any not so hateful blog in English about this topic, please share. I need some encouragement.

I'll be blogging about this myself for a  while now, so I can deal with everything I'm feeling.
YOURS TRULY,
POET in the BRAIN TRAIN CART