Competence

I thought that I was on to something,
That I was going the right track,
but now you've robbed me of my self-esteem,
and I've been trying to get it back,
You wanted me to struggle, you wanted it rough,
You made me think I wanna take my life,
But I guess I'm not competent enough!
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Wrote this in my head during class yesterday, the tutor I got seems to believe I'm completely incompetent of anything that goes beyond handing out stencils. Also, today was the eleventh time he called me by the wrong name, even though I've been his apprentice for nearly one month altogether. If anything's to be done around there I have to do it myself, he doesn't tutor me at all but use me to go fetch things, and the worst part is I can't stand up to him cause he's the one who'll be determining my grade later on. I'm starting to make things happen best as I can. Monday morning I'm responsible for going through a new grammar chapter and I'm gonna do it incredibly well, just as to show him how it could be done by a teacher who's not as fucking narrow-minded as he is, pardon the curse. I found out last Monday that there's another apprentice coming next week, and I thought, yeay, here's someone who'll support me, we can watch eachother's lessons and learn stuff from one another, cause we're students, right? We aint supposed to walse in on some school and perform the most perfect lesson, partly because there aint no such thing as a perfect lesson, but mainly because we're there to learn, not to show off. We're there to try and learn the profession in reality, instead of reading about it in some book at the university. And what do I get? She drops by to pick up a schedule for next week, turns to me and says, "Oh, and by the way, you do realize I'm going to make you leave the room whenever I got my lessons, right?" She doesn't even know me! I didn't believe what I was hearing, but the tutor looked at me and went, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea too." Hard to believe I don't feel very welcome at that place, isn't it? Besides, if she makes me leave the bloody room so she can bloody perform her "magic" lessons, those are hours I can't count in as such I've been helping out with, meaning I might not get full attendance despite the fact that I been present all the time.
I don't understand why they are so against me. I know I am a highly competent teacher trainee. I taught English to kids this summer that arrived with a hatred of the subject and left after two weeks with a "Pass" and will to try. At my last VFU school I got to lead loads of lessons. And now I'm stuck with a guy who recommends the newbie teacher by the next desk to "just stick with the book and you'll do".
I'm surprised they didn't tell us about this at the university. Sucks.