Thought I'd drop by today, dunno how long it's been since I did an old-fashioned, straight-from-the-heart-kinda-post here, everything that pours outta me lately seems to be songs... As some of you might have noticed already, I've been messing around with the look of this site more than I've actually spent on its content, well, that aint really true I know, but that's what it feels like. Anyway. My head feels so empty, I don't even know what to write. I even dream about grammar exams. Earlier today when I was for once playing AO with my Ruby, I was supposed to say 'I left it in my inventory' but made a Freudian slip and out came, 'I left it in my vocabulary'. Pretty much proves the point of how much time I've spent studying these last couple weeks. It's been crazy. And it's nowhere near over yet. First exam's on Friday, my linguistics retake next week, and then the linguistics exam for the second subcourse, in the week after that. Meanwhile we got to write an argumentative essay, read two fiction books for the literature course, and perform some kind of pedagogical presentation for ELTA (English: Learning, Teaching and Assessment, I know, it's dead dull). Then I have two wonderful weeks of apprenticeship with my fucked-up mentor to look forward to, wohoo!
Ah well, I don't really feel like I care anymore, anyway. Recently I've had some serious thoughts about leaving the teacher trainee programme. It just... doesn't feel right, doesn't feel like it's what I wanna do. And I'm thinking about at least skipping a term or two to study film science. My dream is to get into this education in Gothenburg for a film director, but it's really hard to get in there... Well, thought it couldn't hurt to study some film courses, at least. And if I don't end up doing this film thing, I'm gonna take two more terms of English, cause that'll earn me a doctorate... that'd be awesome!
Well, I haven't dared bring this up with Mum and Dad yet, so we'll see how it goes. For now, all I know is that next term is free of apprenticeship, and I'm so gonna enjoy it!
See you soon, folks!
dont study yourself to death, but also remember that to pursue a career that could end up exploding in your face, such as writing, direction, singing or acting or really anything involved with entertainment always have a back up, something to hold you still when you start to fall.
ReplyDeleteExactly, that's what I thought when I jumped on this teacher trainee programme, that I'd have a solid ground to stand on, you know. But now suddenly it feels as if I go through with this, I'll be stuck in that job forever without ever doing what dreams I was supposed to live out, of sorts. Like this: I just wanna be young and irresponsible for a while... and do the kind of stuff you do when you are young and irresponsible =) and spending five years on an education because it'll "be good for you" isn't exactly such a thing.
ReplyDeleteWell, we'll see what happens... without my studies there's no way for me to finance my living and I just got a new apartment so it aint exactly the moment to pack your stuff and move back to mum and dad's, anyway. =)
No such thing as young and irresponsible, only irresponsible in a very good way. Its never too late for that.
ReplyDeletehaha, clever =) i guess you're right. but i bet you know what I mean. like, it was just a lot easier when you were a kid and didn't have to worry about stuff. But then again, I guess I don't really need to worry about stuff now, either, that's just my personality... or a phase I'm going through, maybe :)
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